take the butt quiz.


and go to mewing.net. why not visit the site of someone who made a quiz about butts?



I'm feeling very down right now.
and these feelings sux cos it's like a plague and once it gets stuck it doesnt seem to wanna leave.
i wanna get out of the house,
drink till i'm dead drunk
then i won't have to think
i hate what i feel
i juz wanna get out
i feel suffocated in myself and the fact that i'm neither a night lifer where i can juz go play myself to the extreme to forget all pains..
nor am i surrounded with friends whom i could call up and chat with me abt my prob.
some wouldn't be bothered. and some simply not free.
i feel so friendless sometimes...

cant stop crying. fuck.

i was supposed to meet yifeng tomorrow.....
too bad she fell sick and couldn't come out tomorrow..
gotta wait till she comes back frm her trip to china....
i cant even remember when's the last time we met up...

suddenly i feel pretty fucked up...
not because of you yifeng....dun worry....
it's juz dat.....
it made me realise AND feel....that i have no life....
and i feel so friendless.....
why am i always the one..(or at least i think so)..who initiate to call others to chat? huh? why?
why me?
why ONLY me?
why nobody call me up and say, "hey maria, feel like chatting? let's talk" or something like that at least?
do i mean nothing to them?
the only person who DOES call me, excluding wilfred who's my bf, is Melissa Teo and she is in AUSTRALIA yet she bothered to call me up!!!
what is this i don't understand.
why am i suddenly getting SO emotional about this that my tears cant stop flowing and that i fuckin cryin my eyeballs out till my shirt is all wet!?
WHY!?
i wonder....seriously.......that if one day, something were to happen to me.
who would know?
who would care?
who would come and visit me?
other than fred and my family, who would happen to call me up and find out abt what happened to me?
perhaps no one..
perhaps it might be months later....
years....?
i don't dare to even imagine it.
now that i realised what has always been in my mind, i feel a thousand times worst than ever.
have i always been so hard up to have close friends?
when's the last time i had a long conversation with some friends over a cup of drink or on the phone...
other than with wilfred who seems to be the only one talking to me and giving me all the attention?
or melissa teo who called up frm australia?

talking about tomorrow...
supposed to meet up with yifeng right?
now i'm suddenly activity-less.
i want to go out. but i simply have no fuckin idea what to do.
walkin in some stupid mall is simply lame.
wilfred's going off to some disco or pub with chloe n terry....
i'm tagging along.
i'm no clubber i know.
but who fuckin cares?
better than stayin at home.
mebbe i'll juz drink myself silly.....

anything before all these sickening thoughts were great....even watched mr.deeds over at fred's hse....
had fun and all...
now these to ruin part of my day....
great huh....